Goodbye
by That70sShowGirl77
Summary: Set after 4th season finale. Jackie Burkhart writes a letter explaining her feelings.


**First things first please no mean comments. I am not really a Jackie Kelso fan. I am fully supportive of Jackie and Hyde. But I do believe that Jackie did love Kelso at one point. Most Jackie Hyde fans will deny this and Jackie Kelso fans will do the same with her and Hyde. But I believe she loved them both at a point. I also think that Jackie and Kelso never really had closure. Now I think Jackie and Hyde had even less closure but I tried writing one of these for her and Hyde but it was too hard because their relationship was so complicated and hard for me to capture. So this is my closure for Jackie and Kelso. I like to think they had closure so she could move on and fall in love again. Maybe I will try again to write a fanfic like this for her and Hyde later if anyone would like to see that? **

**Also I just finished reading the book the notebook and that's where the inspiration of this being written in letter format came from. **

Dear Michael.

You're gone. I know that now. I know you left almost two months ago but I think it took me this long to figure out your not coming back. Well maybe coming back, but not to me, not to us. There is no longer a Jackie and Michael, and it took me this long to realize it.

You ran so fast when I told you we should get married. You didn't even try to explain to me that you didn't want to get married. You left me after I had told everyone. I was humiliated, upset; my social status took a sudden turn. But worst of all you left me heartbroken. I couldn't talk to anyone about it. Donna wasn't here, Fez tried to make a move every time I tried to talk to him, and it's not like Hyde or Eric would be any help.

My summer was mostly spent in my room crying. Because that is all I could think to do. Crying because not only are we broken up, but you are probably off with some reckless whore doing god knows what. I can't stand to think about it. I make myself sick thinking about it.

Actually not so much anymore. It's not like I've moved on…well yet anyway. I am working on it, just as I am sure you did about two days after you ran off.

But Michael, I know now not to wait for you. I can't wait for you. To become smarter, to get a job, to grow up, to marry me. I can't wait for you to become the man I want you to be. Because you will never be that man. As much as I love you, we want different things. We both have different expectations, different ideas of our perfect matches. And I know I thought you were mine, because I thought you would change for me. And I thought I could deal with waiting a few years for you to change. But as much as I would like to believe that you can change I don't. You are who you are Michael. And I love that man. But I don't see a future with that man.

This is the sixtieth letter that I have written you Michael. It is also the last. Something happened the other day that I would never have expected, something I never thought would happen, but when it happened I felt good. Something I haven't felt for a while. So I am writing one last letter. Just another letter that you will never get to read. I wish I had the courage to send them to you, to show you my true feelings but I don't. I never will. So I will write this letter, knowing that you will never read it, knowing that you will never know how much I loved you, and how hurt I was. I know you got one letter the only letter I could send. The hateful letter, the one filled with horrible things directed towards you.

It's not like I regret sending that letter though. I don't. And I wish I could send you these, but I don't think you even deserve to hear me pour my heart out to you after you broke it.

You don't deserve my love. You don't deserve me wasting my summer crying about you. You don't deserve my sixty letters. You don't deserve me. And as much as this letter doesn't make sense it does. I tell you I love you and then I say you don't deserve me. But it is all true.

Michael Kelso I love you. But not in the way love should be. Love should be waking up in the morning dying to see that persons face, kissing them with no second thoughts, loving them with no strings attached. People fight, but not like you and I. People who our meant to be don't make each other feel bad about themselves, or doubt them, or kiss other girls behind the gym or in their van, or kiss other guys in cheese shops, or play game shows to determine if they really are supposed to be with each other.

You were my first love. One I will never forget, one that I might always love. But you are not my true love, my soul mate. You will find that person someday and so will I.

The time we spent together, I will always cherish. The fact that you were the first person I had sex with with, kissed, and loved will always be something I look upon fondly. I could never regret that it was you that was my first love.

I have to move on now. I can't spend days agonizing over what could have been.

Michael I wish you the best and hope one day we will be able to be friends. Now I will put this under my bed where are the other letters are stashed and you will never get to read it. So I will tell you one last time the one thing that I could never say to your face again, I love you Michael Kelso.

Goodbye.

Jackie Burkhart

**All right hope you liked it. Please review, I would like to know you're points of view, if you hated it or not. Thanks:)**


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